It was during the last visit that my brother went through his last round of radiation treatment.

I was very kindly invited to join him and his wife, to help out and to spend more time with them on the way to the hospital.

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The hospital is about 30 minutes away from my brother’s home.

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At this point, my brother did not have any sensation in his left limbs and he needed a lot of help getting from bed to the wheelchair, the car seat and so on.

My other brother and his wife helped him every step of the way, patiently and kindly on each trip.

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When we got into the car, I sat in the back seat.

It was sunny, and their hybrid car ran so smoothly. I looked out the window, enjoying the views and the sun. My homeland looks so nice in winter time.

As we were riding along, we were making light conversation, laughing and smiling. At times it was hard for me to understand what my brother would say, he talked quietly and softly as he was tired. I stuck my head between the driver and passenger seats to hear him and we would talk this way for a little while.

 

The drive was so surreal, knowing our destination, enjoying the sun and laughs. But at the same time, occasionally, my brother would lose touch of his thoughts and get frustrated or confused.

 

Our destination was hope, intertwined with angst, fogged by the unknown.